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Gallery
- The spectators at a golf tournament. Golf fans enjoy a much higher degree of
participation in their favourite sport than their counterparts seated in stadiums
could ever dream of: they get almost as much exercise as the players themselves,
they can wear the identical playing outfits without the slightest embarrassment,
they stand at least as good a chance of being injured during the course of play
as even the top golfer in the country does, and they can enter upon and do serious
damage to the playing field before and during the contest as well as after it
is over.
Game - A
competitive round of golf, but also a particular golfer's style of play. Over
time, golfers tend to progress through several basic kinds of "game":
great drives, poor approach shots and lousy putting; awful drives, foul approach
shots and superb putting; perfect drives, rotten approach shots and dreadful putting;
and ping-pong, bowling and croquet.
Gas What
putts left on the amateur side of the hole run out of.
Get down A
message from golfer to ball asking it to cease flying—now! Usually heard after
a ball is hit too far or offline; almost always uttered with great agitation.
Get Up The
opposite of get down, an exhortation used to urge a putt or shot to travel
farther toward the hole. Also used by Golfer A to urge Golfer B to regain consciousness
after Golfer A has hit Golfer B in the head with an errant iron shot.
Gimme -
A conceded putt, shortened from the phrase "Give it to me." Gimmes
are the centre of many golfing controversies, especially among the ranks of
amateurs who are always looking for an opponent to concede a putt, even if their
ball is off the green. See IN THE LEATHER.
Give, give An
agreement between a golfer and his opponent to give each other their next
putt. Usually the result of two amateurs with a shared fear of the short game.
(See also good, good.)
Go to school
To learn about the speed and direction of a putt or chip by observing another
putt or chip on the same or similar line is golfs version of going to school.
Smart golfers also go to school on their own putts and chips and watch
as they roll past the hole to get a look at any break that will effect the putt
coming back.
Goat farm A
poorly maintained golf course. (See also dog track.)
God squad Nickname
for the group of PGA Tour players who hold regular prayer meetings at professional
golf tournaments.
Goer A
shot that goes much farther than normal for the club being used. A member
of the flier family.
Gogolak This
synonym for drop kick gets its name from Charlie and Pete Gogolak, two
former NFL placekickers.
Golf - The
derivation of the word "golf 'from its Celtic and Middle English roots is
obscure. Some possibilities are: gil f f (an incurable madness), gylf (a notorious
liar), gullf (to beat a shrub with a short stick), golve (under; beneath; lost;
blocked; submerged; stuck; obstructed), gellvo (horribly; terribly; hopelessly;
awfully), galfa (my God!; oh, no!), goal fyl (to cry; to weep) and gael f (I quit).
See KOLVEN.
Golf Accessories
- Gadgets whose purchase improves players' games primarily by eliminating bulk
from their wallets, thereby reducing excessive trouser friction and allowing a
smooth hip movement in the swing.
Golf Bag
- Portable container with compartments designed to hold clubs, balls and other
golfing accessories. There are two basic types of golf bag, and serious players
usually own one of each: an inexpensive canvas or nylon "carry" bag
that would have been easy to tote around the home course if the shoulder strap
hadn't broken on the 3rd tee, and a more durable vinyl or leather "travel"
bag that would have been used on a golf trip if the airline had not sent it to
a continent other than the one on which the course its owner planned to play is
located.
Golf Cart
- Two-wheeled bag carrier that decreases the exercise value of playing 18 holes
of golf from about the level of two sets of doubles tennis to the equivalent of
an hour and a half of shopping. With a four-wheeled electric cart, the physical
demands of the game can be reduced even further to about the same as 10 minutes
of rearranging sofa cushions, watering a dozen plants or one complete loading
and unloading of a dishwasher.
Golf Club
- 1. The basic implement in golf, which consists of along shaft on one end of
which is the head, which is attached to the shaft at the heel and has on one side
a distinct face. 2. A social organisation built around a golf course and composed
of a number of heels, a membership committee head with two faces, and a long waiting
list of people who are going to get the shaft.
Golf Glove -
An unpleasant odour worn on the hand.
Golf Grippe
- Mysterious ailment whose sudden but short-lived symptoms of violent coughing
and sneezing usually occur on the tee or green. It can often be cured by pounding
the sufferer vigorously on the back with a 5-iron.
Golf lawyer
A player known for constantly citing the rules, usually to the detriment of
your score. This character may sound versed on the rules of the game, but he's
probably trying to take advantage of you. If you're playing with a golf lawyer,
carry a copy of the Rules of Golf with you at all times.
Golf Shoes
- There are two basic kinds of special footgear that golfers can choose from:
traditional golf shoes with metal spikes and the newer rubber-studded models.
There are a number of differences between the two designs, but the question of
which type to select really boils down to whether you want a shoe that you can
blame for spoiling your shot because its spikes caught in the turf during your
backswing or one you can blame because its studs slipped in the grass during your
downswing.
Golf Widow
- Non-playing wife of an obsessive golfer. Just for the record, judges have consistently
decided that although golf clearly is "extreme mental cruelty," it is
not grounds for divorce since "the unspeakable sufferings are experienced
exclusively by the player and not by the one abandoned as the result of such play"
(Humphrey v. Humphrey). On the other hand, courts have been equally firm in throwing
out wills altered in favour of favourite golf holes (Alexander v. Trust for the
Mowing of the Rough on the Back Nine at Smokey Valley C.C.), bequests to dubious
sporting foundations (Bennett v. The Society for the Perfection of the Backswing)
and posthumous gifts for the care and preservation of treasured clubs (Howard
v. Irons, Woods, et al.).
Golfing
- A pastime that gives people cooped up in the office all week a chance to lie
and cheat outdoors.
Golfing Vacation
- Period of time spent playing golf in a place where the rain is warm or where
notices indicating that a course is closed due to inclement weather are posted
in a foreign language.
Good, good See
give, give. When two golfers have putts that lie similar distances from
the cup, one player will say, "Your putt is good if mine is good."
Used mostly by amateur players who fear short putts.
Green -
A roughly circular area of smooth, lush grass whose verdant hue is the result
of regular sprinkling and constant sobbing, bawling, blubbering and whimpering.
Greenie &
Sandy - Two popular side bets in which the players in a foursome agree to
ante up a small amount of money to be awarded to the first player on the green
on each hole ("greenie") and to any of their number who get out of a
sand trap and into the hole in two strokes ("sandy"). Other common golfing
wagers include paying a set sum of money to the player who uttered the fewest
four-letter words during the round ("cleanie") and the player who threw
the smallest number of clubs ("gandhi").
Greens Fees
- The charge for playing a round of golf. When paying this fee, mediocre players
should keep in mind the fact that whereas golfers who regularly shoot par are
shelling out nearly a quarter for every shot they take, a hopeless duffer is paying
a mere eight or nine cents a stroke.
Grip - The
end of the club that slips, twists, rips or flakes, as distinct from the end of
the club that rusts, splits, chips or cracks. See HEAD.
Grinder Term
used for a golfer who is all business. A player whose only mission is to achieve
the best score possible. A hard worker. A serious player. Boring. Tom Kite.
Grip it and
rip it To forget about all those "swing thoughts" and take a healthy
rip at the ball. This phrase became popular after the prodigious swinger
John Daly and his Herculean drives, won the 1991 PGA title at Crooked Stick.
When asked about his style, Daly said, "I just grip it and rip it."
Grocery money
Winnings from a golf bet that the winner pledges to spend on food and drink,
or groceries, usually at the nineteenth hole.
Grounder A
golf shot that never leaves the ground. (See also worm burner.}
Grow teeth
A 1. golfer's
plea for the ball to stop quickly. (See also bite, chew) 2. something Tiger
Woods did after he broke fifty for nine holes.
Growl Action,
backspin, juice. When you want your ball to stop quickly, you have to put
some growl on it.
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