| I always lift
my head when I chip. I need to tie a hook around my privates and a noose around
my neck. I'll never look up again. |
| I am allergic
to the pesticide spray. My eyes are watering and I can't see the ball. |
| I am committed
to my wife. Golf has always come second. |
| I am constantly
over-judging my shots. |
| I am hitting the
ball too perfectly. It keeps going too far. |
| I ate way too
much on the turn, now I'm bloated. I need a port-a-pottie. |
| I bent my 9 iron
while killing a pig for the roast for my 22nd birthday party so I had to use my
wedge. |
| I broke my pitching
wedge the last time I played. This sand wedge gave me too much loft. |
| I can never get
my last shot off my mind. |
| I can only chip
with an 8 iron. I must have left it on the last hole, or maybe you are trying
to sabotage my round. |
| I can only get
enthusiastic about sex. Golf just doesn't do it so I don't try. |
| I can only get
motivated to play golf after watching 'Caddyshack.' |
| I can only make
the 10-footers; the 3-footers throw me off. |
| I can't afford
golf lessons. |
| I can't concentrate
since I got fired from the orange juice factory. |
| I can't focus
on golf when my football team is playing. |
| I can't get my
mental checklist in its proper order. |
| I can't get my
wedge to bite. |
| I can't golf regularly
for religious reasons. |
| I can't golf unless
I'm clean-shaven. |
