| My caddie gave
me the wrong club. |
| My calculator
must have run out of batteries. Put me down for a three. |
| My calves hurt
from running. |
| My carpet in my
living room doesn't break like this green. |
| My cat chewed
up my Thursday golf underwear. Now I have to wear Sunday's. |
| My cat tinkled
on my golf glove, so I can't use it. |
| My chiropractor
is out of town. I can't get loose. |
| My clubs are too
old. These wooden shafts don't flex. |
| My clubs are too
short. You know I grew two inches since I played last week. |
| My clubs need
to be re-gripped. They keep slipping out of my hand. |
| My clubs were
lost by the airline. I'm having to use rentals. |
| My country club's
fairways are much better. These conditions are unplayable. |
| My dog chewed
a hole in my good golf shoes. |
| My dog chewed
up my golf glove...Now my club slips. |
| My dog had diarrhea
last night. I didn't get any sleep. |
| My dog ran away
this morning so I didn't have time to warm up. |
| My dog unrinated
on my good shoes so I have to play in my sneakers. |
| My ex-girlfriend
used to iron all my socks. I just can't do it the way she did them, damnit. |
| My ex-girlfriend's
brother-in-law is an old golf pro. He used to give me free golf lessons. If we
would have stayed together, I could have made that putt. |
| My feet must not
have been parallel to the target. |
