| Aiming for the dead center of a bridge that crosses a creek in the middle of the fairway is seldom the percentage shot |
| Always leave yourself a full shank |
| Everyone sees a whiff, but no one is ever looking when you hit a career shot |
| If you absolutely, positively have to par a hole, leave a birdie putt one inch short |
| If you can only play a few holes, you'll be two under par when you have to leave |
| If you have to hit a drive over a ravine, you need to make up your mind whether you're going to hit a good shot short with a shit ball, or a shit shot short with a good ball |
| If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green 200 yards away while the foursome in front of you is putting out, you have two options: You can go ahead and hit and rip the shot of your life onto the green on the fly, or you can wait until the green is clear and cold-top a ball halfway there |
| It takes 17 holes to really get warmed up |
| Its a simple matter to keep your ball in the fairway if you're not too choosy about which fairway |
| Never claim that you intended to skip the ball across the water or hop it along the cart path or stop it against a rake handle |
| Never curse a god-awful shot until it has had a chance to get lucky |
| Never wash your ball on the tee of a water hole |
| No matter how short the par-3, never line up the logo when you tee up your ball or plumb-bob the hole with your wedge |
| The key to target golf is choosing a really, really big target |
| The most difficult lie in golf is a ball sitting up in a perfect lie in the dead center of the fairway 150 yards from the pin |
| The odds against parring another hole double after every hole you par |
| The reason it's called "golf" is that all the really good four-letter words were already taken |
| The reason it's so hard to par the course is half the shots are woods, half the shots are irons, and the third half is putts |
| There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way you meant to play it |
| To blow up on the back nine you don't need to have played a terrific front nine, but it certainly doesn't hurt |
| When your tee shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls |
| You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time |
| You can put your ball in even the smallest fairway bunker if you pick it as an aiming point |
