| A ball hit to the wrong green will land two feet from the hole |
| A ball hit to your green will stop an inch from where the hole was yesterday |
| A chip shot will always travel one-third of the distance to the hole, or twelve-thirds of the distance |
| A practice shot hit from a bunker after a flubbed sand wedge will always stop right next to the hole |
| After the first putt sinks, the hole shrinks |
| Always concede a putt if the ball cannot be marked without the coin falling into the cup |
| Even if it's longer than the fourth one was, the fifth putt is always good |
| Every putt is a straight putt if you hit the damn thing hard enough |
| If you leave the pin in, it will bang the ball off the green |
| If you take the pin out, the ball will rocket over the hole |
| If you tend the pin, it will jam in the cup |
| It's not a gimme if you're still away |
| Misread putts have perfect pace; on-line putts never reach the hole |
| Never lag a tap-in |
| Never putt a gimme |
| No putt ever got shorter as a result of being marked |
| Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts |
| Putts come three to a package |
| Spike marks never turn a putt towards the cup |
| The grain of the green always runs towards the setting sun, except when it doesn't |
| The green often forgets which way the last putt broke |
| The key to mastering the short shots is to make sure you don't start hitting them until you get within 100 yards of the green |
| The only time you can ever suck back a ball is when it lands 30 feet short |
| The trouble with the putting grip is that one hand is not enough and two hands are way too many |
| The yips are contagious, but no one catches a pure putting stroke |
| There are no lip-ins |
| You can three-putt without plumb-bobbing the break, but why take the chance? |
| You can't learn luck |
| You can't teach touch |
