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The
hitman
One morning, a
man approached the first tee, only to find another guy approaching from the
other side. They began talking and decided to play 9 holes together.
After teeing off,
they sat off down the fairway, continuing their chat.
"What do
you do?" the first man asked.
"I'm a salesman.
What about you?"
"I'm a hitman
for the mob," replied the second man.
The hitman noticed
that the 1st guy started getting a little nervous and continued. "Yeah.
I'm the highest paid guy in the business. I'm the best." He stopped, sat
down his bag of clubs, and pulled out a fancy, high powered rifle that was loaded
with all types of scopes and sights. He than asked the man where he lived.
Still nervous
the man replied, "In a subdivision just west of here."
The hitman placed
the gun against his shoulder, faced west, peered into a scope and asked "What
color roof ya' got?"
"Gray."
Then he asked
"What color siding?"
"Yellow."
"You got
a silver Toyota?"
"Yeah,"
replied the first man who was now completely amazed by the accuracy of the hitman's
equipment. "That's my wife's car."
"That your
red pickup next to it?"
Looking baffled
the man asked if he could look through the scope.
Looking through
the sights, he said "Hell. That's my buddy Jeff's truck. What the hell
is he doing there if I'm..?"
The hitman looked
through the scope once more. "Your wife a blond?"
"Yeah."
"Your buddy
got black hair?"
"Yeah!"
"Well, I
don't know how to tell you, but I think you've got a problem. They're going
at it like a couple of teenagers in there." said the hitman.
"Problem??!
THEY'VE got the problem! I want you to shoot both of them! Right now!"
The hitman paused
and said, "Sure. But it'll cost you. Like I said, I'm the best. I get paid
$5,000 per shot."
"I don't
care! Just do it! I want you to shoot her right in the head, then shoot him
right in the groin!"
The hitman agreed,
turned, and took firing position. He carefully stared into the sights, taking
careful aim. He then said, "You know what buddy. This is your lucky day.
I think I can save you $5,000!"
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