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Heaven
or Hell
There was a good
man named Bill who died and appeared before St. Peter at the Holy Gates. St.
Peter checks out his books and discovers that there is a problem. He says that
there is no clear answer in the books on where the man is supposed to go, Heaven
or Hell. He suggests that the man should go to Hell and check it out, so that
he may make the decision himself. If he didn't like what he saw there, he could
come back to Heaven.
Well, this man
had only one true vice while he was alive. It seems he had an uncontrollable
desire to play golf at any opportunity. He had traveled the world playing all
the famous golf courses. When the man arrived in Hell, Satan welcomed him, but
he too was surprised at the man's situation. He had assumed that since the question
about the man's ultimate destination wasn't clear, the man would go to Heaven.
Behind Satan,
Bill could see the most beautiful golf course ever built. It had beautiful trees,
blue ponds, water separating the fairways, and almost everything in a golf course
a golfer could ever wish for in life. Bill fell in love with at first site,
and he couldn't control himself. He just had to play a round. The devil showed
him a solid gold electric golf cart, a perfect leather bag-- soft and supple
yet strong like iron, and a brand new set of Big Bertha clubs. Satan reached
into his pocket and presented the man with a Golden Tee. The devil then said
that only members could play. The man couldn't control himself. He just had
to play there.
Bill returns
to Heaven and tells St. Peter that he has decided to stay in Hell so he could
play on the Beautiful Golf Course there. When the man returns to Hell, he approaches
Satan and asks for a tee time. The devil says that anytime at all, the man could
play. No one else uses the course. Chuckling with glee, the man approaches the
first tee. He gets out of his beautiful golf cart, reaches for his perfectly
matched clubs and selects his driver. He then reaches into his pants pocket
and pulls out his Golden Tee, then frantically searches everywhere for a ball.
Satan comes up and the Bill asks him for a ball.
"That's the Hell
of it," says Satan.
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